Rowan (my youngest) and I have decided to see some old Disney classics this week. All of ours are on VHS, and it's been a while since anyone in this house has watched anything on VHS. Our pics, Snow White, The Fox and The Hound, Bambi, and Aladdin. We watched Bambi, then The Fox and the Hound back to back, and Rowan turned to me and said "Both the mothers die" Well, this is a theme you hear discussed a lot as a mother of small children living in progressive SE Portland. Disney's misogynistic bent. Always offing the mother. I knew this formula, and started to tell Rowan what I knew, first off that every movie we had rented had no mother from the start, or she got killed early on. For the record, I never believed this was misogyny . I just thought it was a convenient formula. Anyway, I start to tell Rowan how leaving the character without a mother puts them into all kinds of danger which allows for a conflict to be resolved through the plot of the story. He said "Oh, I just thought that without the mother, there was no one to stop them from having adventures and experiences that would make a good story." I just shut up. Now, I know all of the psychological Run Away Bunny mumbo jumbo about how it makes the child feel powerless because the mama bunny is always able to bring them home again. Again, never bought into it. I think The Run Away Bunny is Great. I think that Guess How Much I Love You is great. Some psychologists think the daddy bunny in Guess How Much I Love You is always one upping the baby bunny and making him feel powerless. Whatever. My point is that Rowan has never heard these psychologists. He was just giving me his take on offing the mother. Mom gone, adventure ensues. I have an eighteen year old who is really putting me through the paces here lately, and I have been forced to take a real good look at my parenting. Do I do too much for my children? Do I allow them too many freedoms?
Once there was a little bunny who wanted to run away... "If you run away" Said his mother, " I will run after you, for you are my little bunny." I guess, if you use the right intonation and inflection it could be construed as a little controlling. But we are supposed to have control. We are supposed to keep them safe. It's our number one biological objective. Have babies, keep them alive. Safety and freedom. Perfect balance, please. Does anyone have the formula?
